• MeidasTouch

Op-Ed: Keep Going Democrats, We're Not Done Yet

By Sam Youngman and Adam Parkhomenko

Donald Trump is 10-feet tall and breathes fire. He has $100 billion in secret campaign cash, the world’s best secret pollsters and an army of secret voters firing up their boats to go to the polls for him.


It doesn’t matter if any of that is true or not. For the next six days, act like it is.


Because to paraphrase John Paul Jones (Revolutionary War; not Led Zeppelin): We have not yet begun to kick this orange asshole out of office.


If you’re like us, you’ve had to pick your jaw up off the floor several times while looking at the early vote totals these last few days. They’re really quite something. People are turning out to vote earlier in bigger numbers than we’ve ever seen. In Texas alone almost 8 million people have already voted! So what does that mean for Democrats?


Not a goddamn thing. 


Because as impressive as the early numbers are, we don’t know who they’re voting for, and we don’t know who is going to win this election. So let’s spend the next week working like it’s going to be Trump. 


We know you’re exhausted. These last four years have been a nightmare. Trump didn’t even give us weekends off from his madness. Sure, he’d go play golf, but not before dropping a Saturday morning grenade on our breakfast tables. 


He has overwhelmed us with scandal and corruption. He has assaulted our collective sense of decency on a daily basis. He has destroyed a piece of this country’s soul, and he narrated through a spittle-covered megaphone while he did it. 


And from the moment he took office, we fought back. We marched, we gave, we voted, we gave some more, we marched some more and we never let him forget for a second who he really was — an illegitimate president wrecking everything that’s good about America to satisfy his ego and his Russian handlers. Trump has been president for four years, and for four years, we’ve had him on the run like the criminal he is.


Now we gotta give a little more. 


Trump, it turns out, is tireless. It doesn’t matter if he’s infecting one person at his rally or a hundred, the man is determined to spread this deadly virus to every corner of the country while feeding his warped ego and deluding himself about the realities of the race. We don’t know if he’s on speed like the kids are saying. We suspect a person can conserve a lot of energy when they spend all their time watching television and tweeting. 


Regardless, we have to be aware that we’re up against an unstoppable sucking machine. He sucks in the morning. He sucks in the afternoon. He sucks at night. You can’t stop him from sucking. He’s the Terminator of sucking.


So we can’t let fatigue or exhaustion or just plain being sick and fucking tired of talking about this colossal scumbag slow us down for even a second. 


If you’ve voted, find someone who hasn’t. If you’ve given money, give more if you can. If you haven’t adopted a Senate race, there are plenty to get excited about. You can absolutely make a difference at the last minute. Make calls. Make texts. Let’s not get outworked by the laziest president in the history of presidenting.


And now you’re really gonna hate us.


On Tuesday night, when you’ve given everything you can, and your exhaustion is mixing with your anxiety, remember that Wednesday is a work day. If we want to avoid another Trump, then they are all work days from here on out.


In 2009, Democrats all over this country hung out a Mission Accomplished sign of our own. We elected Barack Obama, and the forces of evil were defeated. But nobody told the forces of evil, so they organized, raised money and eight years later they put Satan’s annoying roommate in the White House. 


We can’t let that happen again. We won’t let that happen again. 


Four years of Trump demonstrated in painful detail how much we have to lose and just how quickly we can lose it. But it also awakened a civic spirit in this nation, and it can’t be something we let fade after Election Day. Win or lose, after Nov. 3, the fight for this country goes on. 


So dig deep, dig in and let’s start digging this country out of this mess. 

To read our daily newsletter filled with politics stuff, cuss words aimed at the Trump family and jokes about Rudy Giuliani having sex with his own cousin, sign up at BigStuff.us

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